2009

So I was uploading pictures from my camera and came to a sad realization and I began to ponder. I realized that 2009 was an even sadder year then 2008 for me and I want to honestly believe that I am going to make a change. In thinking about all that has happened I also want to believe that if I try just a bit harder I could have made a difference and had better outcomes.
As most of my friends know I was extremely sad to return to Kansas but I truly believed that if I stayed positive and focused it would all turn out alright and I would come to understand the reason behind the fate of my unfortunate return.
So here's my admission of guilt I have not stayed completely and totally focused all of the time. I have not stayed committed to staying positive and having a positive attitude.
Now what to do about it? Kick myself in the ass! Change my attitude! Remind myself that although I may not love it here I do love being close to my son and grandbabies that should count for something, right?
It is a new year and with that I will have new goals, new opportunities, new dreams and of course new failings to learn and grow from.
I will make time for myself I don't really know that I remember who I am any more.
Rediscover Me!